The following message was posted on the Donor Sibling Registry Yahoo Group. This type of attitude from a sperm bank will prohibit all parties from sharing important genetic and medical information with each other. Who’s best interests are they serving? Certainly not the families and donors who wish to connect.  As long as there is DNA testing, the sperm banks can not be promising anonymity to sperm donors. It is simply a thing of the past. Cryos says that it is “immoral” to search for one’s donor. I think it is “immoral” to keep genetic relatives from making mutual consent contact.

Hallo!
Today I read a horrible article about Cryos International. The manager Mr Ole Schou in Denmark has now stopped to inform the donors at Cryos what donor numbers they have. The reason is the DSR. He wants to make it impossible for donors to connect with their biological children.
The article that I have tried to translate (I am not danish myself…) is about a 14 year old danish girl who wants to find her
father.

Regards Asta

Original articles/program in danish newspaper/television;
http://www.kristeligt-dagblad.dk/artikel/300338:Etik–Paa-jagt-efter-donor-137
http://www.kristeligt-dagblad.dk/artikel/300300:Etik–Donorboern-leder-efter-soeskende-og-faedre

http://www.dr.dk/nettv/update

rough translation:
On the U.S. site Donor Sibling Registry more than 20,000 people
currently is seeking the man who donated seed for their children or
their biological father. In the typical situation, there are parents
who have had a child with donor semen and are now looking for other
children who have received semen from the same donor, and thus are
genetically half siblings. Others are adults, donor children, who are
looking for their donor father – and part of these inquires come from
Denmark.

– It is a very unfortunate development and an international community
problem. That means we have to take our precautions and make
anonymous donations even more anonymous, “said Ole Schou, who is
director of the world’s largest sperm bank, Cryos in Aarhus.

On the U.S. site users usually uses donor number to seek the donor or
any half sibling. Therefore, Cryos now has stopped to inform donors
about their numbers – so if they are sought
, they do not know they are the one who people look for.

– It is a pity, because the trend now is that recipients would like
to have as many details on appearance, background and training as
possible, but now we are instead forced to go the other way and make
things more foggy, “said Ole Schou.

One of those who seek her father is 14-year-old Ina Rosdal from
Skagen. Her father was a Cryos donor, and she has only his donor
number.

– I find it strange that we donor children are completely without
rights, as opposed to adopted children, who can trace their
biological parents. I find it sad that the law is such that the
ability to trace my genetic property is taken away from me, she says,
she wants to know what her biological father looks like, and what he
is interested in.

Search Services that are working to trace relatives, typically put up
for adoption, predicts that the future awaits big challenges when
donor children in large numbers will seek their genetic fathers. In
Netdetektiverne (Net detectives) has already received the first
inquiry – and had to give up.

– We tried in every way, but there was nothing to do. Some cases can
not be solved. I think there will be more who need to see a picture
of their father or hear about his temperament. But the possibility is
the cut off, says project leader Kim Henrik Larsen.

Michael Loft Nielsen believes that as well. He is president
of “Association of donor children and parents.” (Denmark)

– One can imagine that there will be more cases in a few years, where
some children will seek their donor fathers, he said.

But the children – and especially their social parents – should stay
away from this, “said Ole Schou from Cryos.

– It is immoral that women who at the time, has agreed to an
anonymous donor, begins to advertise for him. What the children are
concerned, you need to tell them that it is a disability they must
live with. The conditions under which they are here.

Each year around 400 Danish children are born to the world as a
result of sperm from an anonymous donor.

From an anonymous poster on the DSR Yahoo Group:

To all those seeking access to their donors and to all donors reading this, I wanted to comment on behalf of privacy, donors and accessibility based solely on my own family’s experience, no one else’s.  I don’t profess to know what the right thing to do is, just what has worked for us.  I am a mother of a donor conceived child (teenager) and was lucky enough to find our donor through this site after trying to reach out to him directly through my bank without success.

We are definitely lucky, in that our donor was willing to take some risks where his privacy is concerned. My family was willing to take risks on our side.  Our contact began almost three years ago, first six months of email, then the adults met, followed by my child and donor meeting.  It has been a very slow pace in many ways, finding ways to connect that match everyone’s needs, including those needs of his “chosen” family (wife and children at home).  In some ways it has been fast and steady. Our donor overtime, has allowed his children access to my child.  In many ways, those sibling relationships are stronger and certainly easier to manage than the adult ones.  He is a wonderful man with a big huge heart and has been tender and respectful of my child’s needs, even if he can’t always meet them (her needs). In turn, we have been honest, respectful and tender with him even when my wishes haven’t always matched his.  It is, more than anything, an
ongoing NEGOTIATION.  Each step is another adventure.  I feel extremely grateful to our donor and very blessed by the experience. My child is happy and living her life.

My only idea to pass on to others are to trust as best you can.  That seems to be the biggest unlocked treasure for me, in this adventure.  have discovered a level of  trust I didn’t know I had.  Giving up my need to control things and trusting that we as a family along with the donor and his family, will and are, finding our way. It has involved lots of patience and compromise and stretching our hearts.

Best of luck to all those looking.  Even the moments when I felt my heart would break from something I thought was only disappointing, my child has found a silver lining.  She has learned to cherish what is possible and not anguish over what is not.  What a powerful lesson! And we are all the better for these incredible experiences.

Thanks,
Anonymous

California Cryobank has been using the copyrighted “Donor Sibling Registry” name in their Yahoo advertising. We have been notified by people who have seen this advertising on at least two Yahoo groups. Their advertising box simply says “Donor Sibling Registry”, and then “The Leading Semen Donor Bank” and when you click on it, you are taken to the California Cryobank website. An organization and website that we have no affiliation with.

Although we are flattered….it is extremely disappointing that they could not come up with their own advertising slogan and resorted to using our name, without permission, to attract clients to their sperm bank.

This is the best they could do? Shame on you California Cryobank. Try advertising using your own merits, not the Donor Sibling Registry’s.

Note: On August 29th we received an apology from CCB, noting that their advertisement was indeed “an infringement on a trademarked name”. They have now removed the Yahoo advertisements and promise to never again use the name “Donor Sibling Registry” in their advertisements.