Another paper to be published in Human Reproduction:

“The experiences of adolescents and adults conceived by sperm donation:
Comparisons by age of disclosure and family type.”

This is another paper resulting from the joint research between the Donor
Sibling Registry and Cambridge University. Every time we have a paper published,
the media picks up on it and the results are debated and discussed publicly.
This is the only way to move the industry in the direction of more openness, and
better education and counseling for recipients and donors at the front door-
before they donate and decide to create their families via donor conception.

My understanding is that 90% of hetero-sexual couples still choose to never tell
their children that they are donor conceived. Then, years later, when the donor
offspring are told or find out by mistake (happens all the time), many feel hurt
as well as a sense of betrayal. Also, many single moms and lesbian couples
negate the importance of honoring a child’s curiosity, and minimize the donation
as only a “piece of genetic material”, not realizing that child may view this
“piece of genetic material” as one half of their genetic and ancestral identity.

As a society we know that family secrets are toxic. It is time that the egg and
sperm donation industry starts considering the rights of the child to be born,
and setting policy based on those rights, instead of only focusing on
pregnancies and their bottom line profit.

“At the time I was involved in the donor program, I wanted anonymity. Since then, however, I’ve come to believe that the keeping of the secrete is profoundly wrong for many different reasons, not the least of which is the perverse “it’s just bodily fluid” argument. It most assuredly is not. Consequently, though I still respect deeply the right of privacy for parents and their donor offspring, and would not seek to pierce that veil even if the law allowed, I no longer think privacy is my claim to make.”

Many people get hung up on the idea (because it is perpetuated by the infertility industry) that donors are promised anonymity and have no desire to connect with offspring. While this may be true for some, we currently have more than 900 egg and sperm donors on our website who think differently. We have had many donor-offspring connections made on the DSR that have been simply amazing. Many donors come to the site saying “promised anonymity?….I had no idea I had the right to be curious, search and find my genetic offspring.”

This particular sperm donor was alerted to the DSR by his 16 year old daughter.