“I just watched the Style Network show which featured Ben the sperm donor with,
so far, 70 known children. If Ben has 70 known children it is a sure thing that
he has at least that many who are unknown. Few heterosexual couples tell their
children about the circumstances of their conception, and it is still a minority
of single women and lesbian couples who are actively seeking their donor.

Ben donated at Fairfax Cryobank which I believe is the world leader in offering
donors who have prodigious quantities of children. Effectively, they have no
limits on the number of children they allow a donor to produce. The show
illustrated some of the consequences of the mercenary greed of this sperm bank.
Ben has a fiance who wants an exclusive relationship with him and their future
children. On the other hand, this likable and well-intentioned man is willing to
have meaningful contact with his biological children. He cannot possibly
reconcile his fiance’s desire for a normal family life with his willingness to
be known and to interact with his horde of children. As his friend said in the
piece, “you can’t go to 70 birthday parties”. After the 5th or 10th or 20th
contact this guy is going to say enough.

We know that sperm banks accept a small percentage of donor candidates. As I
understand it, the sperm of most men does not remain viable after freezing and
thawing. Also, the bank wants a high sperm count so that multiple vials can be
produced from each sample. As a result, it is expensive to find an acceptable
donor who can produce viable sperm in quantity. If the decision-makers at a
sperm bank have no ethics they will continue to use a popular, available donor
until the cows come home.

I was a donor in the late 1980s. At that time the American Fertility Society
guidelines called for a limit of 10 children per donor. Aside from the
possibility of accidental incest, or the passing of some heritable defect to a
virtual tribe of people, is it not just common sense to limit the number of
offspring? I hope you are not reading this Ron Paul, but these people need to be
regulated. Their choosing to act in their untrammeled self interest is causing
active harm.”

http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh0XTWQnc2EkQI49zg

We have worked very hard to make this a thoughtful and thought provoking show. We hope that viewers will be able to consider the points of view of the offspring, the donors, the parents, the grandparents and the partners of the donors. We want people to consider this industry that is so unregulated that donors are out there with 75 or 150 kids. We also want people to understand why meeting a half sister might be important to a donor child.

As we all “redefine” family on the DSR, it’s important that those embarking on creating their family in this way, as well the industry, and the public consider and ponder the issues about how family is redefined through using donor conception.

This tv show has been an amazing opportunity for more exposure for the DSR, (a 501(c) 3 charity organization), and for the issues that we all deal with. I have seen how media stories allow so many people to know about the DSR, and to connect with another, this is just another step in educating the public and the infertility industry.

The stories, the emotions, and the people are all real. We have the opportunity here to watch and empathize with all participants as they maneuver through defining these new connections.

Wendy

The NY Times article, the Today Show spots, all the related articles and media stories that went round the world, and the fact that the Style Network continues to air our show, has helped the DSR have it’s best month ever.

We had more donors come to the DSR in September, than we usually get in a whole year’s time, 121. We had 164 people match.  The unique visitors totaled 32,524, and we had 2,569,264 hits on the site.

My understanding is that the ratings were good and solid, even beating the established lead-in show. The Style Network is pleased, and we are hoping that we get the opportunity to tell many more DSR members’ stories. Anyone out there have a story to tell? Email me if you would be interested in participating in future shows.