Sperm donor mum tracks down her son’s ‘global family’ as she goes online
to find six-year-old’s 11 lookalike siblings

By Natasha Courtenay-Smith

PUBLISHED: 17:55 EST, 22 February 2013 | UPDATED: 19:11 EST, 22 February 2013

With their similarly shaped faces and shared blond hair and blue eyes, it’s
easy to guess that the three boys are brothers.

But Max Silverwood and half-brothers Liam and Grant come from three different
families and have nine other siblings around the world.

Their remarkable global ‘family’ has emerged after six-year-old Max’s
mother Ellie Silverwood tracked down the other offspring of the sperm donor she
used.

The only information she had for the anonymous man was that he is Danish and had
the donor alias ‘Dane 1421’.

Miss Silverwood, from Oxford, conceived Max with a donor because her now
ex-husband was unable to have children. As her son grew, she began to wonder
more and more about what Max’s siblings might look like if he had any.

She joined the Donor Sibling Registry, a US-based website which allows families
of donor children to locate each other, registering her interest in contacting
anyone related to Dane 1421.

In the next two years, she received messages from nine families, who between
them had eight boys including Grant, four, and Liam, five and three girls, all
conceived by the Dane. They live as far afield as the US and Australia. Max is
the oldest; the youngest is four.

‘One of the first people to contact me was Liam’s mother, Mary,’ said Miss
Silverwood, a retail buyer. ‘She emailed me a picture of Liam and I burst into
tears when I saw it. He was the spitting image of Max. I was really happy and
excited.’

The first face-to-face meeting came when she and Max flew to Texas to spend
Christmas with Grant and Liam, who have different mothers.
Ellie Silverwood and her son Max, age 6, from Abingdon. Ellie conceived via
sperm donor and she has tracked down 12 half siblings to her own son

Ellie Silverwood and her son Max, age 6, from Abingdon. Ellie conceived via
sperm donor and she has tracked down 12 half siblings to her own son

Miss Silverwood said: ‘It was hugely emotional for myself and Grant’s and
Liam’s families to see the boys together.

‘The similarities are uncanny. They all share what must be their father’s
hair, distinctive shaped eyes, eye colour, head shape and noses. They also have
the same outgoing sparky characters and they all loved playing Angry Birds.

Full Article and pictures:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2283122/Sperm-donor-mum-tracks-son-s-glo\
bal-family-goes-online-year-olds-11-lookalike-siblings.html

An article out today in BBC News:
Should sperm donors have parental duties?
By Pia Gadkari BBC News, Washington

As more women become pregnant using sperm donated by men they know, the law must
establish what role, if any, these men should play in their biological
children’s lives.

When William Marotta answered a Craigslist ad seeking a sperm donor, he was just
trying to help two women start a family.

Over a few days in 2009, he gave the couple several donations in plastic cups
and signed an agreement giving up all his parental rights. He thought he would
never see them again.

But in October he got an alarming letter: though the women did not want him to
be part of the child’s life, the state of Kansas was suing him for child
support.

Mr Marotta, 45, discovered that the women raising his biological daughter had
separated and the child’s mother, facing financial difficulties, had enrolled
the girl in Medicaid, a government healthcare programme for the poor.

The state asked her for the name of the girl’s father, who officials said was
financially responsible for the medical expenses incurred.

Experts say they are seeing an increase in legal disputes over the relationships
sperm donors have with recipient families in cases where the donor’s identity is
known.

In some cases, like Mr Marotta’s, donors do not want to be recognised as legal
parents. But lawyers are also seeing more cases in which donors seek contact
with their biological children.

In the UK, the High Court recently handed down a landmark ruling giving two gay
men in a civil partnership the right to apply for contact with their three
biological children, who are being raised by lesbian couples with whom the men
are friendly.

The men could even win the right to play a role in rearing the children.

In the US, analysts like Charles Kindregan, professor of family law at Suffolk
University in Boston, say Mr Marotta’s case demonstrates why the law is so
“clearly outdated”.

The law protecting sperm donors from parental liability was passed in the 1970s,
when most women seeking fertility treatment were married. Because treatment was
new and cumbersome it had to be administered by a doctor.

But medical advances now offer cheaper, easier alternatives to treatment in a
clinic.

Single mothers now make up as many as 49% of the women who receive donor
conception treatment, says Wendy Kramer, director of the Donor Sibling Registry.

Sperm Donors:

44% of donors attended college, and 39% hold graduate degrees
48% of donors have full-time jobs
40% are full-time students

Source: Donor Sibling Registry

Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender families account for another third of
recipients, with heterosexual couples making up the balance, she says.

“That’s a huge difference from when I became pregnant 22 years ago,” she says.
“At that time most of the women were like me – married, infertile couples.”

Ms Kramer emphasises that because donor recipients have not been required to
report live births back to sperm banks, healthcare practitioners, regulators and
legislators have been unable accurately to track the changing landscape.

She adds that there is “zero” tracking for sperm donors who do not go through
clinics.

And in these casual arrangements, there is also zero legal protection for the
biological mother and father.

Nearly all the current litigation involving sperm donors stems from
complications arising out of private donations.

Under the Uniform Parentage Act of 1973, the law on the books in most US states,
a physician’s involvement ensures the donor has no parental liability.

In Mr Marotta’s case, this rule made all the difference. Because the women used
a home insemination kit instead of a doctor, he could be on the hook for about
$6,000 in child support, his lawyer Ben Swinnen says.

(More…)

Link to Full story: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-21482099

A new page on the Donor Sibling Registry for and about Donor Offspring

Some DSR Success Stories:
“Today I found my younger half brother and am absolutely thrilled! I contacted his mother and hopefully we can start a correspondence and maybe even a relationship. I am so happy that DSR has enabled me to find my ‘other’ family! I was brought to tears when I saw my donor’s ID on this boy’s post and I am so excited that I finally found him! Thank you so much DSR!”

“‘I am an only child with five siblings’ is what I said to my mom when in March 2006, I was informed that I have five biological brothers and sisters. I was eleven years old and hearing that fact blew my mind. How do I have brothers and sisters? Why wasn’t I told about them until now? Who are they? Where are they? All these questions raced through my mind as my mom was telling me the details.”

“I am 13 years old and in 8th grade. My name is Lauren and I am also a twin. I found out about a month ago now that my dad wasn’t my real biological dad. I was shocked at first but then the next day I was excited to tell my friends the news and curious about the donor and what he looked like. I know that my dad is my real dad and will always be, but I still wanted to do some research about the donor. That night I sat on the couch with my family and we all went through the packet about the donor. (heritage, looks, health…etc.)” Continue reading Lauren’s story: I am 13 and just found out.

“When I signed up with the DSR a year ago, I did it more with the hopes of finding information about my donor, than with any thoughts of actually finding a sibling. After all, I’d be conceived in the late sixties, well before the existence of sperm banks with registered donors. At that time everything was very secretive, with absolutely no information given to the parents. When I got to the DSR, I was the first person to create a listing under my mom’s doctor’s name, from New York City.” Continue reading this amazing story of older half siblings connecting: Never too old to find a match!

From our Research on Donor Offspring:  Advice to parents about connecting with half-siblings and/or donors:

“Being an only child my whole life and knowing there might be some siblings out there was always in the back of my mind, but I never knew there was a chance to connect with anyone from my father’s side of the DNA strand. Now that I have, it’s a lot like having siblings without the sharing the bathroom and clothes aspect of actually living with them, and I love it. I talk to at least one sibling everyday, there’s just too many to talk to all of them everyday. It’s a good thing. I thought it was cool to meet and have more sisters. My mom didn’t want more than two kids all by herself so this was her way of giving us more. It’s sooo cool!”

“Don’t be nervous, we’re not trying to replace you, we’re trying to find us.”

“I don’t think that children could forget about or have a lesser opinion of their parents after meeting their donor. Kids know that the people who are important in their lives are the people who have always loved them. I think that knowing a donor can only add to the number of loving adults in a child’s life. The donor will never substitute anyone. I feel that by meeting my donor that I have added to the wonderful family that I already have. And the parents will always be there to support the child if meeting the donor was disappointing in some way.”

“There’s nothing to be afraid of! Just because your child has expressed interest in discovering more about themselves doesn’t mean they’ll love you any less. In fact they will most likely be very grateful to you for supporting them in this desire.”