Perspective of a Grandmother

The DSR has been of enormous value in connecting donor-conceived half-siblings, and in helping donor-conceived offspring and their donors find each other. For many people, these new family connections have been so positive and rewarding. Less often have we heard from grandparents, and that’s what I’d like to tell you about today.

My daughter was an anonymous egg donor in her early 20s. Only a few years later she died of cancer. I didn’t know if her egg donations had ever produced children, and never expected to have any contact with them. After her death, I unexpectedly heard from 2 families who had come across my daughter’s obituary and, thanks to the information they had originally received from the egg donor agency (more than is currently provided!), along with the information that had become available by then on the Internet, they were able to find me. Their motivation at the time was to learn more about her cancer in order to see if their donor-conceived children were at risk. The result, however, was that I was able to meet these children and their parents.

Over the past decade, I have been so grateful to have ongoing relationships with these children, who are now young adults. Like most grandparents, I very much enjoy having grandchildren, visiting them and having them visit me, interacting with them, and watching them grow up. And in addition, they are my strongest connection to my daughter – their genes, their physical resemblance, their interests, and abilities. Knowing them has been a major blessing in my life. In addition, I grew up with very few relatives, but now I am a part of two more families. I feel close to the parents of these kids, enjoy visiting them, and am grateful that they have accepted me as a member of their families.