By admin on March 01, 2013

Perhaps you’ve seen the ads posted by sperm banks on and around college campuses:

Sperm Donors Wanted: Make Money!!!!

“Get paid for what you’d do for free anyway!”

Parker Cramer at the LSU college newspaper The Daily Reveille,  fires back with this spirited opinion piece:

“Why College Males Shouldn’t be Trusted for Sperm Donations”.

If you are a college-aged male, you’ve probably considered donating sperm a time or ten.

And why not? Men produce gallons of the stuff for tissues, toilets and trash cans every day —  free of charge.

And occasionally, if we’re lucky, for an actual woman.

But what about the sperm banks? Where are they getting their sperm if the majority of men only produce and never bottle?

The answers may surprise you.

According to the Donor Sibling Registry, a U.S. non-profit that assists offspring of sperm and egg donations in finding their biological parents, store-bought man milk may be the best way to go.

Of sperm donors, 44 percent attended college and 39 percent hold graduate degrees, according to DSR. Forty-eight percent of donors also have full-time jobs.

But here’s the kicker — a whopping 40 percent of sperm donors are full-time students.

I don’t know about you, but if I was a woman seeking strange sperm, I would make damn sure it wasn’t coming from a college campus, pun intended.

Just from a nutritional standpoint, I would not trust student sperm. Have you seen what we eat? Have you seen how we spend our days?

Imagine (if necessary) you are a lazy, college male. You are a full-time student, which means you go to school at least 12 hours a week. How you spend those other 156 hours, only your Internet history will tell.

We’re already off to an impeccable start. Now, this particular male lives on a diet consisting of Jack in the Box tacos, Caniacs, and an impressive concoction of drugs and alcohol.

In the downtime between a Nazi Zombie tournament ending and a FIFA tournament beginning, he decides to make a quick buck and send his soldiers abroad.

OK, all my single ladies, it’s decision time. Do you really want this guy’s sperm turning into your baby, transforming inside you like a fetal Optimus Prime?

As responsible consumers, we should know where everything we buy comes from, up to and including a stranger’s sperm.

I understand that sperm donation centers put donors through rigorous background checks and testing, but if 40 percent are full-time students, there will be more than a few bad batches.

As far as the ethics behind donating a bodily fluid for cash, I don’t care. If you donate sperm or plasma on a regular basis, admit it, you’re a whore. Which is fine, nobody’s judging (we’re all too busy laughing), but just admit                                                     it.

If you want to sell your body, which is exactly what happens at sperm and blood banks, far be it from anyone to stop you.

But I don’t think students, on the whole, are responsible enough to be trusted to donate sperm. That sperm could eventually become a living, breathing person, and while you may never meet them, your practices now could have a serious effect on that person’s life.

Addiction is hereditary. So if you’re perpetually in the gutter, keep your sperm to yourself.

Full Piece:

This is what we wish these young men would read before deciding to become a sperm donor:


Your medical history, past, present and future….

Would you be willing to provide ongoing current medical information with respect to yourself and your immediate family?  As a donor, it is important to consider the ongoing ramifications for any children conceived who share your DNA. If you donate sperm this year, the sperm may be sold for many years into the future and potential mothers may keep that sperm for many years after purchase, often to try to provide their children with full biological siblings.

Should you or a member of your immediate biological family develop a health or medical issue following your initial completion of the donor interview, it would be essential that you provide this information to the sperm bank and post the information (anonymously if you’d like) on the Donor Sibling Registry, which enables donors, recipients, and offspring to make mutual consent contact and share information.   It’s not just your looks, intellect or athletic abilities that might get passed along.  Susceptibility to disease is also often inherited. For many years after your original donation, children who share your DNA may develop medical and health concerns that can only be properly addressed with your updated information.  It is also important to note that the accuracy of the medical and health history you provide to the sperm bank is crucial to the potential parents reviewing that information. Certain conditions carry genetic components that are not readily tested for, and your accurate information is vital for proper screenings and preventative care.

If you have children of your own, or plan to….

Have you considered the possibility that in this small world your children may encounter biological half-siblings? At the present time, sperm banks do not keep, nor are they required to keep, any record of live births resulting from any specific donor. What this means for the children born with your DNA is that they may be many in numbers. Currently, the largest group of half-siblings on the DSR is approaching 200.  The children you have now, or may have in the future, may meet your biological children born from your donations.  Random meetings among half-siblings is regularly reported on the DSR. Honesty is essential. Before you donate, consider your willingness to be forthright with your children.

Are you planning on donating anonymously?

If you are planning on being an “anonymous donor” it is important to understand that because of advances in DNA testing and Internet search engines, the likelihood of your remaining “anonymous” in the future is growing smaller.  Have you considered what your reaction will be if you are “found” by your biological children in the future? The children born from your donation may be curious and will want to search out their genetic “roots”. As noted above, many donors have more than 20, 50 or even 150 biological children. Have you considered the possibility that you will be contacted in the future, even if your donation is anonymous? How would you respond if, one day in the future, you were asked to meet with your genetic offspring and his or her parents? You will need to think about the fact that this could be potentially disruptive to any family that you may have formed n the traditional manner.

With this in mind, would you consider registering on the DSR so that urgent information can be passed back and forth right from the start?? Or would you consider being an “open donor” now? This means that your biological offspring will be able to contact you when they turn eighteen (18) years of age.

Please consider…

Please consider how you might feel about your donation in the future. It is likely that more than one child will come to exist as a result of your donation. These children are genetically yours; in fact, they may one day have children of their own who will be your genetic grandchildren!

Take a moment to imagine how donor offspring might feel. No doubt many will wonder about who they may look like, where they get their talents and personality traits from, and their genetic family history. Imagine your reaction if your genetic offspring needed a lifesaving bone marrow transplant and reached out to you- Please consider these issues carefully as you make your decision on whether or not to become a donor. Your actions today may have an incalculable effect on the future.

Your donation is much more than a transaction with a sperm bank.

© Donor Sibling Registry, 2007