Registry connects sisters who shared same donor dad

Saturday, April 08, 2006

By Dennis Fiely. The Columbus Dispatch.

FAMILY PHOTO Sisters Elizabeth Reynolds, left, and Kelli Dail, offsprings of the same sperm-donor father, recently connected through an Internet registry. They are among more than 2,000 people who have found biological siblings through the donor registry.

An Internet search that took only minutes has forever changed the lives of two young women on opposite sides of the country.

Elizabeth Reynolds, of Westerville, recently learned that she and Kelli Dail, of Fort Collins, Colo., have the same father.

"Now I have an extra sister to talk to and visit," said Reynolds, 20.

Dail, 21, echoed the sentiment: "I’m not an only child anymore. I feel a little more complete by finding Liz."

The half-sisters connected in early February, after a magazine article inspired Elizabeth’s mother, Ann Reynolds, to check a Web site that registers the offspring of sperm donors.

Like Kelli and Elizabeth, a growing number of donor-conceived children are seeking to find half-siblings, according to traffic on the registry (www.donorsiblingregistry.com).

What started six years ago as a small Yahoo message group now has nearly 8,000 members worldwide.

"The growth has been staggering," said founder Wendy Kramer, of Boulder, Colo., "because the first generation of donor children are old enough now to be curious about their genetic backgrounds."

The registry, which includes information about the mother’s place and year of treatment, as well as any known details about the donor, caters to donorconceived children, their mothers and donors.

In the United States, donors receive a serial number, easing the ability of half-siblings to find each other.

When she went online on a whim, Mrs. Reynolds quickly spotted a message from a young Colorado woman whose mother had been artificially inseminated through Rose Medical Center in Denver with sperm from donor No. 44.

"I was just shocked out of my mind," said Mrs. Reynolds, who was impregnated 14 months later at the same facility by a donor with the same number.

The 57-year-old Westerville homemaker immediately called her daughter at Cedarville University, in Greene County. "Are you ready for this?" she asked her. "You have a half-sister in Colorado."

"Are you sure?" Elizabeth responded, before both began to cry.

The half-sisters began exchanging telephone calls, emails and pictures.

"We look a lot alike," said Elizabeth, who is studying criminal justice.

Said Kelli, a communitycollege student who wants to be a marine biologist: "We have the same smiles, eye shapes and body types. The similarity is amazing to me. My mom always said my features came from my donor side."

The two kept in touch longdistance until March 31, when they met for the first time on ABC’s Good Morning America, during the taping of a segment about artificial insemination.

Their on-camera union is scheduled to air next week.

"We just started acting like sisters right away," Elizabeth said. "It was like we always knew each other."

They spent a weekend in New York together with their mothers, each of whom felt as if she’d found a long-lost daughter.

"I felt so protective and warm toward Elizabeth," said Terri Dail, 59, a nurse. "I thought in some ways she had to be my child."

Elizabeth and Kelli are among more than 2,000 people who have found biological relatives through the registry.

Families with donor-conceived children and some donors themselves are pushing for more openness, Kramer said.

Great Britain enacted a law last year that grants such children the right to know the identities of their natural fathers. No such law exists in the United States, where donor anonymity is the norm.

"I think we will eventually follow in England’s footsteps," Kramer said. "Donor insemination is moving in the same direction as adoption did years ago. Family secrets are unhealthy, and disclosure is in the best interest of the child. People have the right to know their genetic history."

About 40,000 children are born each year in the United States through donor sperm and eggs, according to estimates from the fertility industry.

Mrs. Reynolds chose artificial insemination in 1984 after a vasectomy reversal failed for her husband, from whom she is now divorced.

She had previously given birth to their daughter, Samantha.

Mrs. Dail turned to insemination after her 28-year-old husband died, before they had children.

Kelli, who was told early that she was donor-conceived, grew up more curious than Elizabeth about her natural father and potential siblings.

"When we’d drive to Denver (site of Rose Medical Center), Kelli would always say things like, ‘Do you think I might see my dad or my brothers and sisters?’ " Mrs. Dail said.

Kelli continues to look for other siblings.

Elizabeth, though, is happy with what she has found.

"I’m blessed now," she said. "I don’t need to find another sibling."

dfiely@dispatch.com

Story posted by permission