Resources
archived donor numbers
If you need to look up a donor number there is a website that you can try on: http://www.archive.org/. People can just type in their sperm bank's URL and it will list everything they have archived, including donor profiles. It's worth a try.
Our Yahoo discussion group also has some old donor files from various sperm banks( you must sign into Yahoo with your Yahoo username and password to gain access):
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DonorSiblingRegistry/files/Donor%20lists/
Products
DSR BOOK Voices of Donor Conception Behind Closed Doors: Moving Beyond Secrecy and Shame, includes first-person essays designed to take some of the stigma out of donor conception and enable more open conversation for families affected by donor insemination.
Essays include: the honest fears of an infertile father; the motivations and concerns of a sperm donor who is in contact with one of his adult offspring; the insight and advice of two experts (Wendy Kramer and Olivia Montuschi) who have had contact with thousands of families affected by donor conception; three donor-conceived grown-ups, reflecting on the effects of their origins, as well as on the misperceptions of what it means to them; specific recommendations--some controversial--for change within the industry.
HOW TO TELL PROJECT- 4 Booklets Written by a parent of donor conceived young people and based on children’s developmental stages, the booklets provide parents with a source of emotional support and practical guidance in finding the right time and the right language to ‘tell’ and continue conversations with their children over the years.
There are separate booklets for parents of children at different stages. Issues covered:
* Anxieties about ‘telling’
* Facing fears and overcoming them
* The best age to start ‘telling’
* Language to use for babies, little kids, bigger kids, teenagers and adults
* How children’s development affects what they understand and how they respond
* Talking with the school and family and friends
* Telling if a known donor has been used
* Telling following the ending of anonymity for donors
The four booklets are now available to download free from this web site.
http://www.donor-conception-network.org/tellandtalk.htm
Books for Donor Conceived Children: X, Y & Me
In today's world, many children are conceived through assisted reproductive techniques. This raises the issue of whether to disclose this information to family, friends, and most importantly, the child. There is much controversy as to whether it is a child's right to know his or her genetic heritage. This delicate issue of disclosure needs to be decided by parents; especially as science and medicine continue to delve into the genetic inheritance of disease.
It can be very difficult for parents to know how and when to disclose this information. They may delay telling their child because they don't know how to broach the subject, the time never seems right, or they may be afraid of their child's reaction. Some literature shows there may be a real advantage to giving information regarding conception to a child at a young age. This prevents the emotional upset that could occur if a child accidentally discovers or is told later in life that he or she was conceived in an alternative way. It is especially devastating to find out as an adult that one or both of your parents are not genetically related to you. Adults told later in life often feel hurt, angry, and betrayed.
The books available from X, Y, and Me, are written to be used as a tool by parents who wish to disclose this information to their child from the beginning. This information can then be given in a factual, non-emotional, matter-of-fact way. By reading these books to a child from infancy through early childhood, the child then develops a progressive understanding and grows up knowing "no differently". It is our hope that these books will be helpful to parents as they deal with this delicate, but very real, issue. Please visit www.xyandme.com
Children's Books by Carolina Nadel
With charming illustrations and simple words, “Mommy, Was Your Tummy Big?” helps explain the donor egg process to children. View the many five-star reviews for the hardcover version on Amazon.com.
A slightly earlier version of the entire book can be viewed for free and softcover Spanish and Donor Sperm versions can be ordered from the author/illustrator's website: http://www.carolinanadel.com/books.html .
Links-DNA TESTING
Donor Semen Archive
Each year, approximately 50,000 women in the United States undergo a medical procedure to place the living cells of a foreign donor inside their body. These cells carry with them the potential to transmit infectious disease, cystic fibrosis, muscular dystrophy, mental retardation – and also the potential to produce a vibrant, happy and healthy child. These cells are spermatozoa, and the women who receive them undergo donor insemination. This procedure has tremendous potential to impact the lives of these women, both positively and negatively. That being the case, one would expect that the testing, record keeping, and quality control procedures required for donor semen would be as rigorous and regulated as for any medical test or device. They are not.
Donor semen is not even tested to confirm that the sperm used in the insemination actually came from the donor that the woman selected. Donor semen is required by law to be tested for some infectious diseases – but not all of the ones known to be transmissible in semen are tested. Some sperm banks test for genetic diseases like cystic fibrosis – but they are not required to, and the tests cannot detect all of the mutations that cause the disease. And as medicine evolves, new genetic tests and new infectious agents are discovered with each passing year.
In light of its far reaching consequences, and its many unknown risks and possible contaminants, we believe that the vial of semen used in donor insemination is one of the most valuable medical, biological genetic specimens that exists. Our efforts here are focused on insuring that all DI mothers retain and save this all important specimen. This company also does full service DNA tsting for DSR members at a lower cost.
http://www.caymanchem.com/cabri/
DNA Testing:
FamilyTreeDNA
A recent development that is being used to find if different branches of families share a common ancestor may be of help finding the biological relatives of adopted or DI conceived children.
Family Tree DNA in conjunction with the Arizona Research Labs at the University of Arizona - one of the top Genetics labs in the world - introduced the use of DNA testing for genealogical purposes a few years ago. While they currently have a database with over 82,000 records, more and more individuals are becoming aware of this new tool, and therefore the database is growing at a fast rate.
Right now, chances to find the family to which an adopted or DI conceived person may be related to, may be very small with this size of database, but the advantage of having the DNA tested with Family Tree DNA is twofold: a) if you test today, once your name is in the database, when more people test in the future, you will keep being informed in the case of a match, as long as you don't change your e-mail address, and b) since they keep your DNA in storage for 25 years, in the event that new tests are developed, your DNA can be used for those tests without you having to go through the whole process of DNA extraction from the beginning. The tests recommended for our specific purpose are the Y-DNA37 and the Y-DNA67.
More information about this fascinating subject can be found at their website, www.familytreedna.com. Please tell them that you were referred from the Donor Sibling Registry, as they will make a small donation to us each time someone from our site orders a test. Thanks!
Three Sample letters to clinics, doctors and sperm banks to help aquire more information:
Sample # 1:
Dear (Sperm Bank),
I was inseminated in 1986 via your office and am delighted to have the chance to thank you again for your help in conceiving my precious son, who now is 18. Through a bit of detective work, I recently was able to find you.
When I called to let your office know that I was pregnant, I received some information about the sperm donor, but it was very limited. My son very much would like to know more. Basically, all we know about the donor is his height and coloring. Now that I have found you, I'm not quite sure how best to phrase this letter so that I don't come across as someone who wants to violate the donor's privacy. Of course, my son and I would like to meet him - if that is an option. But, our primary interest is in learning more about the donor's ancestry, looks, talents and interests. We would also like some sort of medical history and an approximation of how many pregnancies were conceived using this donor.
Any help you can give us would be tremendously appreciated. The keys to have my son's genetic identity are in your hands.
Sincerely,
(Name)
Sample #2
Dear Dr. (Name),
I conceived two children through artificial insemination by donor sperm with your help, my daughter in 1988 and my son in 1991. I have been trying to get you to give me my donor number and the lab that you purchased the specimens from for a few years now, but so far my attempts have been unsuccessful. I really feel that I need to have this information, as my son is autistic, plus I need to see what else might be on the donor's side as far as medical history. Certain conditions can run in certain families. Medical histories can be passed from generation to generation, and my children are entitled to have access to that part of their life. They can avoid the things that may be present in the history by knowing about them in advance and taking precautions necessary in that situation.
This is something that should have been given to me years ago without me having to ask or beg for it. It is non-identifying information that is available to all recipients of donor sperm (I have talked to a lot of people who have used a donor to become pregnant and none of them have had this problem of the doctor not wanting to give them their number and/or place of purchase), and I feel I am being prejudiced against by you not making it available to me and my children. I am only asking for a donor number and the sperm bank or lab used, I will contact them to see if they still have a history on file. They will gladly give me a history as long as I have a number. My children's doctor even feels that I am entitled to this information, and he has recently given me information on who to contact for help if this request is not met by you or your clinic.
Please give this request your utmost consideration and send me my donor number and where the specimen came from. Perhaps you did not use a sperm bank but used a college student instead and have no donor number. I still would like to know if this is the situation. You should have access to the information in your archives or in my medical file that is kept off-site. Thank you very much for helping me and my children with this matter. You may contact me by phone, e-mail, or snail mail. I expect to hear from you shortly.
Sincerely,
(Name)
Sample #3
(Have a lawyer put this version on their legal firm's letterhead for more of an impact factor.)
As a matter of record, {Name of Patient} completed and submitted a written request to receive a copy of the medical records that you maintain in (his/her) name on (date.) Inasmuch as this request complied with applicable law, including the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 (HIPAA), you are legally obligated to respond to this request.
For purposes of clarity, {Name of Patient} is requesting a copy of all medical records relating to the patient care, fertility treatment, and endocrinology evaluation that you have performed. This includes the name of the corporation or institution that provided the donor semen, along with the anonymous donor number assigned by that entity to identify the human source of this product.
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